Mein Kempf to open an HSBC Bank Account

My someone wanted to open a dollar account at HSBC, Male. I was thinking of opening this account as a joint account that I could also operate. I went to MTCC tower 1st floor asked asked the Srilankan gentleman at the counter where I could get an application form. The nice Srilankan gentleman pointed towards another nice young lady sitting at another desk. I waited sometime for the Sri Lankan family sitting in front of her to finish their business before she was able to give me an application form.

I rushed home to get this form filled and to get copies of the required documents. As I had some questions regarding the form and my intended account, I wanted to clarify these issues from HSBC before I submit my application form. To my utter shock and absolute disbelief the application form had no contact details whatsoever. All that it says is HSBC – the world’s Local Bank! I guess since the bank claims to be so LOCAL, the bank simply assumes that everybody would know their numbers. I didn’t stop there – called 110 got HSBC’s number and contacted the nice young lady twice to clarify the issues.

As HSBC would not take a Cheque from my Bank of Maldives account I went to BML and bought dollars to get US Dollars in Cash. I quickly went to HSBC and met the young lady at the counter. She took my form and typed a few numbers on her keyboard and after a while told me I would need copies of my wife’s and my passport and national identity card. I produced my wife’s original passport and my national ID card and asked her if these documents would not suffice. She insisted that I should submit copies of all the documents. I said yeah, OK, but if that is your requirement you should clearly give a list of all the documents all prospective account holders are required to submit at the time of opening accounts and you should also have at least your contact details on your application forms. (note: since when did Maldivians start giving consultancy to Fortune 500 companies? he he). I asked her whether she would need any other documents. She thought for a moment and said that both my wife and I are also required to submit letters from our respective employers saying some very nice cute things about ourselves (I don’t remember exactly what she said) and the salary we get! WOW, I said to myself “Thank You Very Much HSBC!”

Long ago I have come to terms with one big reality of life in the Maldives - getting things done from Maldivian Government Offices is one hell of a difficult job full of not so pleasant surprises. I guess HSBC is no different when it’s in the Maldives. It should come as no surprise to anyone as we are the small nation teaching the world ‘the art of doing nothing’.

After an intervention from an influential friend (I dint ask him to intervene because I dont believe in getting things done thru interventions) I was finally able to open my account at the World's local bank.

Shawn says that months ago he was also thinking of opening an account at the World's local bank. But while going thru the banks KYC (what bankers call Know Your Customer)he lost interest(I wonder if they asked him to produce a copy of his great grandma's marriage certificate). He still lives his miserable life without an account at the World's Local Bank.