How do I get a FRIEND everywhere???

You lost your driving license today. You call up transport ministry...you will be lucky not to get your phone disconnected while your call gets tossed around among the countless number of girls sitting at the counter before you get the right person online. Then you tell him you have lost you driving license. He says that you need to fill up an LR01 form (how did I get that number?) and submit to the Ministry. You go to Novelty bookshop, get a form and then discover that you have to get a small part of the form filled by Sifainge. You go to Sifainge…if you are lucky to have a friend there you can get their Thaggadu on your form in less than half an hour (if not you might have to sit there for a few hours). Now it’s time for you to go to Transport Ministry. You know so well that it’s going to take your whole day. So you call your friend working at a govt office in Huravee building to see if he has a friend at Transport ministry. Then your good FRIEND somehow locates his distant cousin who happens to have a difficult to pronounce title at the Ministry. You got to see him and he sends one of the girls to collect your form. After a day or two your new friend at the transport ministry calls you to say that your license is ready.

Your uncle has a swollen ankle. You decide to get an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon at IGMH. You call IGMH to get your ‘number’ and the girl on the phone says there are no ‘numbers’ available for another week. If you happen to be a close acquaintance of a Majlis member from Noonu atoll or if your FRIEND knows a someone who was caught a few years ago while engaging in lewd conduct at the office of the Islaamee Kanthah Thakaa Behey Special Majlis, you can get a special ‘number’ to see the orthopedic guy.

Your mother wants to add a room to her 180sq foot housing plot. The only way to go is up. She asks you to get your architect friend to do a drawing for her that she then submits to the Ministry of Housing and Urban Development. They say that the signature of the architect is missing in your drawing. You then get your architect to sign it and then submit your drawing. Ministry says you need a copy of the registry of your goathi. You rush home and get a copy and then run to submit it to the Ministry to find out that they also need a copy of the identity card of your mother. After several days of running to the Ministry you decide that it is impossible to get the approval you need since you don’t have a FRIEND at the Ministry. Then you go out and hire two of Bangladeshi labourers and a Maldivian raanaa man and get your job done without the approval form the Ministry.

Your sister just graduated a month ago. You received a call from the Airport to say that you have received some cargo - some stuff your sister sent through air freight before she arrived. Knowing the kind of trouble you will definitely run into, you take a leave from work and go to the airport early morning to get your cargo cleared. After several hours of filling forms and running in between Airport, Customs and Sifainge guys you finally arrive home at 4.30 in the afternoon. You decide that it’s high time you get a FRIEND in every Government Office!