Today, I have a little research in freakonomics. After a friend of mine recently told me how he could quadruple Rf 3,000 in 2 days I became a little curious on the profitability of certain businesses in Maldives. It’s no surprise. If you are looking for a get-rich-quick business here are the two most promising business ideas.
Number 1: Start a ‘Hakuru’ Business
Initial Investment: Rf 100,000 (you can start with as little as Rf1000)
Internal Rate of Return: 7014%; Net Present Value: 44,482,281
(Based on a 5 year cash flow - 50% annual growth of sales, 10% discount rate)
Risk Profile: Low to Moderate i.e. if you play your cards right.
Qualification: Any unemployed, half-literate, wannabe rags-to-riches can do this.
Entrepreneurial skills: Ability to form and control a ‘gang’. A few rules apply if you want to become filthy rich in this. Remember Chika? A few tips you could use are: look good, be smart, tough, ruthless and shrewd, but not tempting to arrest. And know how to motivate the foot soldier ‘parteys’ below you and manipulate your political contacts.
Expenses
Cost of Goods 600000
Partey distribution network cost 180000
Cost of 'partey' fighters, weapons & protection money 420000
Total Annual Variable Costs 1200000
Income
Drug sales 7,200,000
extortion & mercenary income from politicians 960,000
Gross Annual Income (1st Yr) 8,160,000
Number 2: Become a ‘Membaru’
Initial Investment: Rf 500,000
Internal Rate of Return: 196%; Net Present Value: Rf 4,071,429
(Based on a 5 year cash flow; 10% discount rate)
Qualification: 5th grade education would suffice.
Risk Profile: Totally Risk Free. Once you get there you are invincible. Infallible. You get a Carte blanche for everything. You can sell votes, party hop and do anything you want.
Entrepreneurial skills: Must be an inherently talented rabble-rouser, a born firebrand. Must be able to stand on podiums of political rallies and shout out a non-stop 30 minute miscellany of the most unimaginably nonsensical rhetoric, absolutely devoid of any intelligence.
Expenses
Office rental & staffing costs 180000
Beys-sitee, 'gifts' to constituency 120000
Total Expenses 300000
Income
“Membaru” salary 780,000
Other income (selling votes, wheeling and dealing) 480,000
Gross Annual Income 1,260,000
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20 comments:
Thanks for your ideas, dude. Can I have a copy of the detailed business plan? I want to try both the businesses. In the next election I will become a 'membaru' and open my 'hakuru' business after winning my seat. That way by the end of my five years I will be filthy rich.
Fun to read and very true!
Does the sale of Bangladesh workers come in to your list by the way, if the list were to expand a little?
If I am to expand the list it would be like this.
1. Drugs business
2. Membaru business
3. Minister /state minister / deputy minister business
4. Loan shark business
5. Bangaalhee sale business (Thanks, Stewie)
6. Business of extortion / burglary/ robbery/
The good thing is all the above businesses can be done in Maldives very profitably with miniman risk. The law might say its not allowed. But who cares? Implementation is not there. Criminals have a free reign here.
The culture of corruption is too rampant in this country. It's almost glorified in our society... so twisted that its not hard to imagine some fellow seriously considering the profitability of this, without a clue in his mind as to the moral problem that the blog alludes to.
hey bodukaneli
You missed a very profitable business. U need to re organize your list. Please include the following.
2. Brothel business (u can register it as a health spa)
3. President's envoy or special adviser business.
5. Ambassador business.
On a serious note I agree fully with U (12:10)
Thanks Anon (12:49).. But I must confess my mind too raced at the prospects here!...
The first thing that came to my mind is some fellow applying for a BML loan using Naimbe's figures...
Then when the bank rejects the loans, really gets raving mad and stages a protest calling for the abolition of Riba in Maldivian banks. And if that fails (which is highly unlikely in the current atmosphere), contests in the courts and wins some 7 figure compensation package from the Government (Not BML)....
The situation is pathetic and comical all at the same time!
Thanks for the business plan.
@ stewie – Looks like Bodukanneli has already responded to your question. If the lists given by Bodukanneli and anon 12:49 are combined it would make a nice list of ‘highly profitable’ businesses in Maldives.
@U 12:10 – rising youth unemployment together with the profoundly eroding moral fibre of our society is a recipe for an unthinkable disaster the depth of which we are only yet to see.
@ U 12:39 – That’s a prospect that didn’t occur to me when I wrote the post. :-)
You’ve touched on another issue over which I have a perpetual itching to say something. Compensation. Its seriously comical. Kudaviligili is to be awarded as compensation for someone who bid for Vilivarubiyaadhoo. Vilivaru and Biyaadhoo were awarded to the bidders who were ranked 10th and 13th in terms of proposed rent. Why award an island to one individual as compensation? The same person was paid USD3.5 million in an out of court arrangement by a public company that has over 20thousand average Maldivians among its shareholders. In Maldives even if you are to go and rob a bank in broad day light it wouldn’t be difficult to justify it.
naimbe., Is this a joke? I thought u are serious. Iwas going to submit a business plan to Bank of maldives to get a loan to start this business.
@Naimbe. Interesting facts. You may be aware that Kudavilingili and the individual concerned has a longer history spanning more than 15 years. The large majority of people do not care to connect the money trail that all these issues leave behind.
Our journalists don’t cover them, politicians and preachers would rather hide them, and we all have become numb to the partisan hogwash, letting ourselves doze off to a mullah’s lullabies of heaven and hell... zzzzz
Thanks for your posts.
One was to become a MP and then deal will be most ideal.
Naimbe, you are genius man, genius! Only thing I want to highlight is there seems to be many potential investors as well. So, Sources of finance is also good for any enterpreneur who lacks it.
Naimbe, lemme ask you if government is proviging any subsidy in this industry?
U missed a very important business. the wakeel and the judge business. thanks to our judicial system. what a farce
Put simply. be a criminal!
Anon 9:20 - The Norwegians are yet to take notice. I guess the Nobel Committee members don’t read blogs. ;-)
Anon 9:21 - Well, a direct subsidy isn’t the only tool available to a government to encourage a business, right? There are so many other incentives that come in many ways and forms. ;-)
Do u know about this? Chika is released.
http://haveeru.com.mv/?page=details&id=94087
@ U :i read some where that when a group of people are opressed, instead of turning on their oppressors they turn on themselves and violence among the opressed rises. this happened among the irish and italian immigrants when they first migrated to usa. is the same thing happening in maldives? instead of wanting to wipe out the criminal rich and getting justice , people are more interested in opressing the women and the working class and the poor.
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